


all for freedom and for pleasure

by orphan_account



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Robert's Rebellion, Angst, F/M, Rhaegar Lives, canon typical underage, elia and her children live, rhaegar and lyanna are exiled
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-02-08 05:08:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12857415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Her home was to be Lys, not Winterfell. Was ever there a place so different from Winterfell than Lys? Lyanna doubts it.Robert wins the war and sends Rhaegar, Lyanna and their son into exile.





	1. lyanna i

**Author's Note:**

> For whatever reason Rhaegar lives through the rebellion and he and Lyanna are exiled to Lys.
> 
> Title from Tears for Fear's "Everybody Wants to Rule the World."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lyanna says her farewells.

__For all Robert claimed to love her, his mercy only went so far. Lyanna had never loved Robert, knew she never would, but she thought he would let her go back home, dishonoured and shamed but home.

None such a thing happened. Instead, Lyanna and Rhaegar were exiled to Essos with their son. Her home was to be Lys, not Winterfell. Was ever there a place so different from Winterfell than Lys? Lyanna doubts it.

She begs with Ned, her sweet brother who fought through hell to find her. "Ned, please, please take me home to Winterfell with you. At least let me say my farewells to Benjen!"

Ned just looks so tired, so much older than his years. It is hard to remember that he was only a few years her elder; and not ten. "Benjen will write you when you dock and get to your new home."

"Winterfell is my home," Lyanna reminds him, with perhaps to much anger in her voice. "I have been it's lady for near a decade."

Her brother shakes his head, sighing. "Not any longer, Lyanna. You'll be the lady of whatever palace you live in."

Lyanna's eyes go wide at that. "Ned, you know how well I have ran Winterfell, that I've been good to the castle and it's people for years!"

Somehow, her brother remains calm. "My lady wife is the Lady of Winterfell, you know this."

Lyanna shakes her head. "Catelyn Tully shall never be a true Stark, shall never rule the North. She is an outsider, unwelcome in the North!"

For once, Ned looked annoyed at her; truly annoyed. "Do not dare to speak so ill of my wife again, Lyanna. There is still love in my heart for you but it is Catelyn who runs Winterfell now, not you."

With that, he walks out of her chambers. Lyanna realises then that this may well be the last time they ever speak.

 

* * *

  
  
She and Rhaegar are given enough money to keep them going for a little while, along with some maids, including Wylla, who had helped her survive birthing Jon.

"I only have so much mercy to give," Robert tells them as they board their ship, "you're lucky of the love I bear your brother, Lyanna, and of the love our fathers had for each other, Rhaegar."

 _You speak as though you're some hero,_ Lyanna thinks but doesn't say. She has learnt that defiance and rage never gets you too far.

"I thank you for your generosity, your grace," Lyanna says, dipping into a curtsey. She looks to Ned, hoping to see approval on his face. Ned doesn't even look at her, he is speaking with his wife.

"Yes," Rhaegar says, "we thank you."

Robert merely laughs. "Well, at least now the two of you may live your lives together. I wish you luck." _So you say_ , Lyanna thinks bitterly. Then, he says, "You may say your final goodbyes."

Rhaegar has no farewells to say - his father and mother were dead, his last siblings gone - but Lyanna does. This time she will do it right. She brings Jon along, hoping he will make Ned more sympathetic to her.

When she gets to him, Ned is holding his own son, a boy named Robb. The heir of Winterfell looks nothing like a Stark - unlike Jon who looks like Ned must have as a babe - and bears little resemblance to Ned at all. Still, Ned seems happy with him.

"Goodbye, brother," Lyanna says, voice surprisingly steady. "I just...I just wanted to wish you well. And you too, Lady Catelyn."

Catelyn Tully nods courteously, almost kindly - so much so that Lyanna can almost believe the other woman doesn't completely despise her. "I wish you and your son the best, my lady."

Lyanna smiles at her goodsister, and tries not to think about how false that smile is, then turns to her brother. "Ned, forgive me, please. Do not let me live in guilt for the rest of my days."

Some men would scream, Lyanna is sure, but Ned hasn't ever been like that. "Father and Brandon died in this city, Lyanna." _And it is your fault,_ he doesn't say, but there is no need for the words to be spoken aloud to make Lyanna hear them. "I am taking their bones back to Winterfell so they might have a proper funeral. They would have wished you to be there, I'm sure."

Lyanna shakes her head. "No, they wouldn't," she says simply. It was the truth, after all. "Tell Benjen I shall miss him, please."

Ned nods, as though saying goodbye to his brother for their sister was an act of duty, not of love. "I will," Ned says.

"Thank you," Lyanna thanks him, completely sincerely.

"You'd best be off," Ned tells her and Lyanna nods, turning around to see Rhaegar waiting.

Guards escort them down to the ship that shall take them and some servants to Lys.

Half the court is there to see them off, but Lyanna sees only Ned - Ned and his little family. When the ship starts moving Rhaegar is carrying Jon to the room the three of them shall be sharing for the journey.

Lyanna doesn't go with him yet, she stays above deck, watching the cursed city get further away from her. The last time she ever sees Ned his back is turned away from her and he is holding his perect little son while talking with his wife.

 _He has moved on then_ , Lyanna thinks, almost furious, and she isn't all that sure why.

 

* * *

 

Lys is very warm, more than even the tower in Dorne. Rhaegar too, with his Valyrian blood, sweats when they are first dropped off. One of the Baratheon guards who came with them show them to their new home.

It was a small palace, white as fresh snow, with big glass windows and a view of the sea. There were two stories, Lyanna assumes, and many of the rooms have balconies. It was a nice house, to be sure.

"There's a group of servants in there already, along with the ones you've brought," the guard tells them, voice strong with a Stormlanders accent. "There are two cooks, two cleaners, a tutor and a translator inside. One of them shall show you about the city on the morrow."

He leaves after that, leaving them in front of this place which they shall now live in. _This is my home_ , Lyanna thinks. It is nothing like Winterfell but perhaps a change shall be good for her.

"Come on, my lady," Rhaegar tells her, putting a gentle hand on her back. He is carrying some of their bags, Wylla has the rest.

As for herself, Lyanna holds Jon close to her chest. _You are all I need_ , she thinks, pressing a kiss to his forehead. He, at least, shan't know all he has lost; all he will never have.


	2. ned i

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ned is invited to court and dinner.

Robert sits atop the throne, looking as though he were made to be king. In another life, Robert would be bowing to Rhaegar - it was an odd thought, not one Ned particularly liked.

"My lords and ladies," Robert calls to the room packed with courtiers, "I should like to announce that I shall be wed to Lady Cersei Lannister by the time the moon has turned."

Ned turns to the lady in question, who beams in pride. _No wonder_ , Ned supposes, _what lady does not wish to be queen?_

Though, this victory is no doubt more Lord Tywin's than it is his daughter, for all Lady Cersei shall wear the crown and birth kings.

"And, Ser Jaime is formerly dismissed from the Kingsguard and is to wed Princess Elia before the year has ended."

 _Gods be good, had Robert lost all sense?_ Ser Jaime killed his king, the man he was sworn to protect, true enough it was in part to protect the said woman, Princess Elia, and her babes but still - a Kingsguard shouldn't kill his king!

He should be gifted with a black cloak and an icy wall, not a kingdom and castle!

Catelyn seems to notice his anger. "Eddard, are you well?"

Ned turns to her, sees her hand on his arm. "Yes...I simply wonder when this might all be over so I might write Benjen a letter, to tell him our arrivals shall be later still."

His clever wife doesn't believe him but nor does she say anything. "Of course, Eddard. I know Edmure would be unsure what to do with himself if Lysa and I were to leave him so far away."

And Ned had left him, hadn't he? _"You must be the Stark in Winterfell,"_ he had told Benjen that. It seemed like a lifetime ago. _"You must look after this castle and all its people, do right by them, Ben. I shall return shortly, with Lyanna too."_

A lie it was, but one meant well - and, how was Ned to ever know about Lyanna? Benjen knew just as well as Catelyn already does when Ned isn't being truthful but Benjen was brave and good and _kind_. He would he alright.

"Indeed," Ned murmurs, watching Robert again.

The king speaks of matters concerning his wedding, and soon enough they are all dismissed.

 

* * *

 

Robert invites Ned and Catelyn to join he, Jon and Lysa for dinner. Ned planned to have a peaceful night, read over some papers the new maester, a wise man named Luwin, had sent along with Benjen's letters.

Wayls had died of an odd sickness barely a year before the war had started. Ned hadn't been there when he died - that was just another reason why he felt guilty of all his happiness at the Eyrie.

He loved Jon as a father and Robert a brother but he had truly missed out on his _true_ brothers because of it.

Ned had missed far too many of Brandon, Lyanna and Benjen's namedays. More than that, he had missed dancing with Lyanna at her nameday feasts, had missed seeing her ride for the first time. He hadn't been there to see Benjen hold his first sword or say his first prayer to the heart tree.

Nor was he as close to Brandon as he might have been: Ned hadn't been there to speak with Brandon about maidens whom he had had a fancy for and he wasn't the one to practise swords with his elder brother...and he might have been able to stop Brandon riding to the capital on that fateful day, if only he was not at the Eyrie.

(But perhaps the worst of all was that Ned wasn't there when his mother had passed. Lyarra Stark was mayhaps the only person to not compare Ned to Brandon all the time. She only ever stood by his side and never scolded his shyness, never told him that wolves were loud and spoke their minds.

She did everything for him...and he couldn't even help bury her. What good a son was he?)

It's the reason why Ned has already half decided that Robb shan't be fostered away, and definitely not so young as eight. If he is to have brothers and sisters he shall know them better than Ned did his, as well as Catelyn does hers.

But anyhow, Robert asked them to join him for dinner. And a request from a king is little a true request and more a commaned, really. 

 

* * *

 

If Ned had thought he and Catelyn's wedding night had been awkward, he cannot even begin to imagine how the bedding must have been for Jon and Lady Lysa.

Never has his foster-father looked so old as he does now, sitting beside Lysa, a youthful looking girl of fifteen years. Perhaps it would have been better if Lysa looked more mature but with her big, bright blue eyes, her red, red hair was all soft curls, and her smaller frame made her look younger than her years, not older.

Ned truly feels sorry for her, his goodsister. He cannot help but wonder what might have happened were he the one to wed her and Jon marry Catelyn.

And, before, there was talk of a Tully girl marrying Robert, were Lyanna to be...unavailable (they had meant dead at the time: not exiled) and it seems to Ned that Lysa wouldn't have minded that overly much. She had looked over Robert more than might be appropriate, considering she was wed and he promised to another.

Ned decides to focus on his food instead - not that he truly likes it, it's much too flavoured for his tastes.

"When shall you leave for the North?" Robert asks him, when there was a long while of silence.

"As soon as you've wedded Lady Cersei," Ned answers.

Robert goes to speak but, for the first time in the evening, Lysa speaks up. "You will visit, won't you?" She looks to her sister, of course, with big, begging eyes. _Don't leave me here_ , they seem to say.

Catelyn smiles her to her sister. "Occasionally we may. Won't we, my lord?" She asks him.

Ned nods, looking to his goodsister and attempting a smile. Lysa doesn't return it, instead looking at Catelyn. "Yes, I should think so."

"And," Jon says more to Ned than his wife, who doesn't look at him either, "we might visit the North, at least once. I should like to see how young Robb has grown. It might be he will have cousins to play with when we visit."

"Yes," Lysa agrees, an odd bite to her usually sweet voice, "we so wish for a dozen babes."

Ned remembers being told that she was with child, just as Catelyn was, but her babe didn't live more than a few moons. And on Jon's part, Ned also knew he did want children of his own blood. He loved Ned and Robert as his sons, yes, and Elbert too, but he would love to father his own sons, and daughters.

Jon would be a good father, when he is one in deed as well as name, but will having those babes with _Lysa_ change that? And...well, Jon was older now, how good a father might he be? Ned's father was well into his thirties when Brandon was born, their mother barely twenty, and Ned had thought _him_ old!

No, he wouldn't think of Brandon or Father or Mother - or Lyanna. _Think of Ben_ , he begs of himself, _think of the sweet boy waiting at home for you_. Benjen lives still - Lyanna too...but that was very different - and awaits Ned's letters as eagerly as Ned did Brandon's when he first got to the Eyrie.

"Are you alright, my lord?" Catelyn asks quietly him for the second time that day.

Ned nods, managing a smile. "After this, I think we should visit Robb. Surely his maid deserves a break."

Catelyn looks surprised at first but smiles, bright as the sun. "Of course, my lord."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure I'm the only one who likes Lysa? :D


End file.
